It's a Wonderful Knife

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  OTHER BOOKS BY S.C. WYNNE

  Copyright (c) December 2021 by S.C. Wynne

  It’s a

  Wonderful Knife

  By S.C. Wynne

  Chapter One

  Maxwell

  It’s a vacation. How bad could it be? Royce would do this for me in a heartbeat.

  I kept repeating those words to myself as the bus driver ground the gears loudly and the lumbering vehicle shuddered and lurched forward. The stench of diesel fuel filtered into the passenger compartment from outside, and when I gave a little cough, the pink-and-white poodle in the seat next to me began yowling hysterically.

  My head had already been throbbing, even without the dog barking three inches from me. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the pooch, and pressed closer to the cold wall of the bus. My stomach growled with hunger as Dean Martin crooned “Baby It’s Cold Outside” for the millionth time.

  According to my calculations, there should only be one more hour before we’d arrive at Giggly Elves Tree Farm and Bed and Breakfast. If I just kept thinking about how happy Royce was that I’d agreed to join him on this excursion, that would help me behave. Our relationship was back on track, and I was determined to keep it that way. He’d made it clear he needed things too, so here I was, sitting next to a miniature poodle who wanted to chew my face off.

  The urge to cough returned, but I stifled it. It wasn’t just the diesel fumes irritating my throat. Someone was wearing a sickeningly sweet perfume, and it was making me wheeze a bit. When I shifted and cleared my throat, the dog went nuts again. I winced at the animal’s piercing bark and clamped my mouth shut so I didn’t say anything rude.

  “Now, Mary Puppins, you mustn’t bark at Dr. Thornton. He won’t like you if you do that.” Hermina Bloom kissed the growling poodle’s fluffy head. “Naughty little boo-boo.”

  I will not say one word. Not even one. Who cares if a grown woman is using baby talk to her dog? Not one word shall leave my lips.

  I kept my gaze fixed on the back of Girdy’s head. She was sitting in front of me with her boyfriend, Todd. She’d taken that seat so we could talk on the trip, or so she’d said, but I suspected she was keeping an eye on me. She probably didn’t trust I could behave because River Martin was a part of the group. It was true I’d been less than thrilled to see Lucas and him waltzing up with their suitcases, but I hadn’t said anything. That restraint should count for something.

  I was in a bad mood though because that snake, River, had managed to get the seat next to Royce. That was all Hermina’s fault. I’d been saving the seat next to me for Royce, but for whatever reason, she’d just plopped down beside me without even asking. Royce had looked a bit nonplussed to see the seat beside me taken, but before I’d been able to suggest Hermina take a hike, he’d moved on past with a good-natured smile. Now he sat two rows behind me instead of with me. Sometimes I really wished Royce wasn’t the most easygoing person in the world.

  Naturally, the second Royce had taken his seat, River had pounced and sat with him. I had to wonder how Lucas felt about that. He’d ended up next to Mayor Penelope Granger, while her husband, Gerald Granger, had ended up at the back of the bus all by himself. If River thought I’d take a back seat to him the entire week, he was going to be sorely disappointed. I certainly wasn’t going to be stuck with Hermina and Mary Puppins for the duration.

  “You’re going to absolutely love Giggly Elves Farm, Dr. Thornton.” Hermina’s nasally voice interrupted my grumpy thoughts.

  “Am I?”

  “Oh, yes.” As she spoke, she unwrapped a string cheese. I was horrified when she let the dog take a bite and then took one herself. “There are so many fun things to do.”

  Royce would ignore this, and I should ignore it too.

  Pressing my lips tight, I reminded myself that most of the bacteria in a dog’s mouth wasn’t zoonotic, so Hermina was probably in no danger of catching anything life-threatening. Still, I wouldn’t be sharing my food with Grumpy anytime soon.

  She waved the stick of cheese around, and Mary Puppins’s head followed the treat intently. “I think you’ll be surprised at how awesome this experience is going to be.”

  “I’m hoping to get some reading done.”

  “Reading?” she squeaked. “Nobody goes to Giggly Elves Farm to read.”

  “Why not? I like reading.”

  She gave a teasing smile. “Don’t be such a cranky-pants. You’ll have a marvelous time with all the activities.” Her smile faded as she studied me with her pale blue eyes. “You do like having fun, right?”

  “Well…” Since having fun hadn’t been my priority most of my life, I wasn’t sure what to say. The Thorntons weren’t big on frivolity.

  When I didn’t say anything more, she gave an uneasy giggle. “Everyone likes fun.”

  Judging by her questioning expression, it was obvious she needed more of a response from me, so I murmured, “Sure. Fun is… the… best.”

  “That’s right.” She nodded. “And we’re going to have bushels of fun on this farm. They have hayrides, and we get to make our very own Christmas tree decorations. Doesn’t that just sound like the bee’s knees?”

  I was proud of myself when I managed to stifle my groan. I’d once made a Christmas ornament in grade school. I still remembered the feel of the smooth glass ball in my hands as I glued on globs of green and red glitter. I’d really gone to town on that project because my teacher had encouraged me to “express my inner artist.” As I recalled, my mother had tossed it into the trash with a horrified expression the minute I’d shown it to her. The Thorntons weren’t big on frivolity or artistic expression.

  “I made an angel my first time at the farm,” Hermina said with a smile. “I still have it too. I hang it on my tree every year. You just wait. Once you start, it’s impossible to stop. It’s so much fun.”

  I cleared my throat, which set Mary Puppins off again. I waited for a lull in the barking to say, “I can hardly wait.” Naturally, I was lying, but it sounded like something Royce might say. I’d already decided he’d be my role model this trip. Before I said or did anything, I’d ask myself, “Would Royce say that? Would Royce do that?” Maybe then I’d make it through the week unscathed.

  “I’ve gone on this trip every year since the Rainy Dale city council started renting a bus to transport everyone.” She kissed Mary Puppins’s nose. “The farm is owned by Mona Montgomery and her husband, Ezra.”

  “Is that right?” I smiled politely.

  “Yep. Mona is just the best person ever. Such a sweetheart. Ezra is nice too.”

  Something in her tone made me think she didn’t care for Ezra. “Do you not like her husband?”

  She widened her eyes. “Oh, of course I do. He’s… fine.” She grimaced. “He’s just not as warm as Mona.” She laughed uneasily. “They have a son named Dakota. He smiles easily just like his mom, only he’s a tad shyer. But that’s probably just because he’s young. You know how kids have trouble talking to adults sometimes?”

  I nodded. “It’s nice that the whole family works the farm.” I was just making conversation. I had no idea if it was nice or not. I’d have been in pure hell if I’d been forced to work for my family when I was younger
. But all families were different. Perhaps the Montgomery family was thrilled to work and live together. Some families actually liked each other.

  “Yep,” she murmured. “I’d be way too scared to make the drive alone. I’m so thankful for the bus.”

  “That’s understandable. It’s a long drive.” I didn’t really share her warm opinion of this rumbling monstrosity. I couldn’t wait to get off the bus, and if I never rode another one, it would be way too soon.

  She glanced around at the other passengers. “It’s a smaller group than usual this year. I wonder why more people didn’t come?”

  Girdy must have been listening to our conversation because she turned around and peered at us between the seats. “A lot of people got that flu bug that’s going around. They had to cancel.”

  I nodded. “True. I did treat a lot of people with the flu before we left.”

  “Oh, no.” Hermina gasped.

  “They’ll be fine, but they didn’t want to spread it around to the rest of us right before the holidays,” Girdy said.

  “Well, that’s awful considerate of them.” Hermina gave another glance at the others. “I hope it will still be fun with such a small group.”

  “It’ll be fine.” Girdy smiled. “After all, there are other guests at the farm too.”

  “True,” Hermina said softly. “But only nine of us are Rainy Dale people.”

  Personally, I thought finding anyone willing to make this trip was amazing. I couldn’t fathom what was so wonderful about chopping down your own tree. Royce had said it wasn’t the tree chopping so much as the time spent with friends and loved ones. That had made even less sense to me.

  Girdy swiveled her spying eye to me. “How are you holding up, Max?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but apparently that offended Mary Puppins because she started barking again. Girdy smiled weakly and I shrugged. She looked surprised at my tolerant reaction, which told me I was on the right track.

  Todd had been sleeping, and he suddenly jerked awake. “Huh? What’s wrong?” he asked groggily.

  Girdy smiled at him affectionately. “Nothing is wrong. I was just talking to Max.”

  “Oh, I see.” He turned to peer at me through the vinyl seats too. “How are you holding up, Max?”

  I was a bit irritated that they kept asking me that, like I was a patient in a mental ward. They obviously had little faith in my ability to suffer fools. I guess I had no one to blame for that but myself. I didn’t have a lot of tolerance for some people. Most people. However, I was turning over a new leaf, so I gave a thumbs-up sign.

  Todd laughed and faced forward again. “See, Girdy, I told you he’d be fine.”

  I frowned. “Of course I’ll be fine.”

  Girdy laughed and also faced the front of the bus. “There’s normal fine, and then there’s Maxwell Thornton fine.”

  Todd chuckled. “That’s true enough.”

  Hermina giggled. “They sure do have your number, Doc.”

  “My number?” I scowled and then flinched when a string of golden tinsel fell from the ceiling of the bus onto my hair. Most of the string was still attached to the roof of the vehicle, but the loose end rested on my head, dangling in front of my face. There were a few sniggers from the passengers around me, but I lifted my chin and ignored them.

  With amazing restraint, I moved the offending tinsel from my hair so that it was on my shoulder instead. I clasped my hands in my lap and said brightly, “Do you suppose the driver has another Christmas CD he could play?”

  Hermina glanced at me. “You don’t like Dean Martin?”

  “I do, but we’ve heard the same CD the entire drive. I was simply wondering if perhaps he had another one… we could… er… enjoy.”

  “He’s right,” Girdy said. “I wouldn’t mind hearing a different CD.”

  “Definitely,” Todd agreed.

  “I’ll ask the bus driver if he has another CD,” Hermina said cheerfully. “Oh, yoo-hoo, Hank. Would you by any chance have another Christmas CD? Dr. Thornton is tired of this one.”

  I clenched my teeth and slid down in my seat. Why was she singling me out? Girdy and Todd were also hoping for a different CD.

  “Oh! Oh!” River’s voice came from a few rows back. “I have a Christmas CD we could play. I just happened to bring one of my favorites. It’s guaranteed to put a smile on even your face, Maxwell.”

  I frowned at him over my shoulder and saw him rifling through his leather carry-on bag. My guess was he’d have some happy holidays positive vibrations rubbish that would make my head hurt even more.

  My gaze slid to Royce, who sat next to him. When our eyes met, Royce winked. I wasn’t generally a winking type of person, so I nodded instead. I didn’t have it in me to smile. Seeing Royce brought back my earlier frustration. I’d have been so much happier sitting next to him. Maybe I could have held his hand and tuned out all these annoying people.

  River passed the CD down the rows of passengers, and it eventually made its way to the driver. Hank ejected the Dean Martin CD and slipped in River’s. The sound of The Chipmunks singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” came over the speakers, and it took every ounce of control I had not to swear.

  Royce gave an uneasy laugh, barely audible over the squeaking chipmunks. Girdy warily peered at me over her seat, as if I were a ticking time bomb. I curled my hand into a fist until my nails dug into my skin, but I smiled. I plastered on the biggest, fakest smile I could muster and I didn’t let it slip, even as sweat gathered on my upper lip.

  “Oh, I love the Chipmunks,” squealed Hermina. “Mary Puppins loves them too. Don’t you, baby? Don’t you?” She rained kisses down on the wiggling pup.

  “They sure are awesome,” I said through gritted teeth. As I finished speaking, more of the golden garland fell onto my head.

  Girdy grimaced. “Oh!” She reached up and tugged the streamer so that it wasn’t directly hitting me. “Better?”

  “Thanks.” I ran a hand over my hair.

  “I’m sure this isn’t really your kind of music,” Girdy said softly. “You don’t have to pretend to like it.”

  “It’s great. Very… festive,” I mumbled. No way was I voicing my true opinion of the music. It felt like a trap.

  “You sure you’re doing okay, Max? Your face is awfully red.” Girdy grimaced.

  “Of course. This is what holidays are all about, right?”

  As if I knew?

  “Um… sure.” Girdy nodded.

  “I was telling Dr. Thornton about the hayride,” Hermina said cheerfully.

  I cleared my throat. “I can’t wait for the hayride.”

  “Really?” Girdy wrinkled her brow watching me suspiciously.

  “Sure. Fresh air and… things. What could be more holiday-ish?” I couldn’t hold her gaze because my smile was slipping. Instead, I glanced out the window at the barrel cactus–dotted landscape. Metal windmills whipped by as did the occasional buffalo statue and flagpole with the Texas flag flying high. I glanced at my watch for the millionth time.

  Has time literally stopped?

  “Mary Puppins will be in heaven on the hayride.” Hermina said. “She just loves the outdoors.”

  “Who doesn’t?” I interjected.

  Girdy blinked at me. “You feeling all right, Max?”

  “Of course.”

  “Like I said, you seem a little red in the face,” Girdy murmured.

  Todd sighed. “Leave him alone, Girdy. You’re like a mother hen.”

  Giving me one last apprehensive look, she turned around to face the front of the bus.

  I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat. For whatever reason, that made Mary Puppins start howling at me like someone had sat on her tail. Clenching my jaw, I tuned out the hysterical pup and the gratingly cheerful chipmunks, who were now singing “Santa Baby.”

  Yes, the bus ride was challenging, but soon enough, we’d arrive at Giggly Elves Farm, and things would probably start going much smoothe
r.

  Chapter Two

  Royce

  I’d planned on sitting next to Max, and judging by the look he’d given me moments ago, he was hanging on by a thread. I was frustrated that Hermina had planted herself next to him, simply because I’d been slower about getting on the bus. Her dog kept yapping at Max, and I worried it was only a matter of time before he said something.

  I realized he was determined to be a team player on this trip, but he was who he was. It was unrealistic to think he’d suddenly become super tolerant of people. That wasn’t even necessary. He was already so much better in how he responded to anyone who got under his skin. I felt a little guilty about him joining me on this trip, even though it had been his idea. He’d volunteered, but my guilt came from the fact that I knew he didn’t really want to be here. He was simply trying to please me. Which I appreciated, but not if it ended up being too much of a strain on him.

  River was beside me, and he laughed suddenly as he stared at his phone.

  I gave him a curious glance.

  “I just got a text from Lucas.” River smiled. “He’s ready to kill me for sitting with you.”

  “Really?” Max was probably feeling the same.

  “Yes.” He sighed. “His feathers are all ruffled now. I’ll have to do some damage control.”

  I frowned. “You should have sat with him.”

  “I know,” he said softly. “But I wanted to sit with you, Sheriff.”

  I ignored his playful tone. River knew I was with Max. I couldn’t understand why he kept flirting with me. I wasn’t the sort of man to date two people at one time. Surely River knew that by now. Even if, God forbid, things didn’t work out with Max and me, River wasn’t someone I’d ever be with.

  “Who’s Lucas sitting with?” I asked, craning my head to see behind me.

  “Penelope. It’s not a great pairing. As you’ve probably noticed, Lucas isn’t a big talker.”

  “No. He’s not. But I wouldn’t think that would matter with Penelope.” I smiled wryly. “She usually does all the talking.”

  “That’s very true.” He sighed.

  “I notice you spend a lot of time with Penelope.”